home?

I'm sitting in my bed, in my boxers and t-shirt, in my lovely cluttered room, staring out at the oh so familiar view of the park and lamp post. But it still doesn't feel like home. I don't really know where my home is now. It's difficult to describe exactly how it feels to be here. I feel somehow incomplete, and sometimes I think I felt more at home in my dorm room in Winchester than I do right now in my own room of 6 years with my family sleeping in the rooms around me. But I don't think it's my room's fault. I feel like I've somehow betrayed it. I've gone away and changed and now that I return, we no longer fit together perfectly anymore. If I feel like my room is judging me for changing. If my room judges me, I can't imagine how I'll feel when I start seeing people and hanging out with friends again. And I'm scared.