Conversations at Dove

This morning I played piano at the church service at Dove Healthcare center. I use the words "played" and "service" very liberally here. My attempts to accompany the service were limited to pounding out the melody and alto part with my right hand.The scrap of paper I wrote the hymns down on was accidentally thrown away by an innocent member of my family and I didn't realize until too late. No practice for me. Also, anyone who has attended one of these "services" knows that they are very similar to what I'd imagine holding a long chapel at a daycare would be like.

When I arrived, I sat at the piano to quickly run through the hymns for that morning. A old couple was seated almost immediately to my left. As I started to warm up, I overheard the following exchange between the husband and wife:

Woman (very loudly): Look. Look at her. She doesn't look well at all.
{and since she is three feet away, I can tell from the corner of my eye that she is pointing right at me}

Man: What?

Woman: She doesn't look well.

Man: She can hear you.

Woman: What?

Man: She can hear you what you're saying!

Woman: Really? No...

Man: Yes, I can tell.

Woman: You can tell?

Man: Yes, I can tell! I can tell just by looking at her.

(Long pause while both of them lean forward and stare at me while I stumble through the rest of the verse).

Yikes, I've never tried harder to keep a blank face. Playing for Dove is never boring.

OK, one more video, GO

This past Thursday I had to chance to see one of my favorite bands in concert at the UW. OK Go's next CD doesn't come until January, but they released their latest music video just a few days ago. And it is outstanding.



If the video isn't working, try this link.
Sorry about the lyrics, but you've got to check the video out... It is just fascinating.


If you like it, check out some of their other music videos (you've probably seen the treadmill one before). They are all extremely original.

yes, i'm resorting to cute animal videos to fill my blog

Most of this grey, overcast Saturday will be spent catching up on laundry and cleaning my room, but first I just had to share this short video. This kitten should brighten up your afternoon.

It's all Steinbeck's fault

On a bright Saturday morning a few weekends ago, I took a trip to Crossroad Books with Janie. I am ashamed to say it was my first trip. How had I never been there before? The store is small, crowded, musty, and stacked floor to ceiling with books--everything a bookstore should be.

While waiting for Janie to find the books she needed for class, I walked up and down the aisles, hoping to find something I couldn't say no to. I happened upon this novel:

I found this book in 11th grade when I was required to select from a long list a book by an American author. I can remember the exact setting in which I finished reading this book. And let me tell you, it is heartwrenching. Absolutely devastating.

I have read many books, and I have cried many times. But for some reason, this book was different. For some reason, this book hit a spot that no other book had. I must have finished it during a study hall I was spending in the Commons or a lunch period, because I remember walking from the Commons up to Reim Hall in a daze. Shannon was walking with me, and I simply recall babbling on to her about how beautifully tragic the story was... how much I loved it... how deeply it touched me... and how at this moment I knew, that whatever I did in my life, I wanted in some way to affect others. Just like that book had affected me, I wanted to affect others. I remember saying that I wanted to make others feel things. Feel emotions! Whether good or bad, I didn't even care. I just had to impact others. I knew I sounded like a complete hopeless and ridiculous mess, but I didn't care. I wasn't ashamed.

Even now, years later, I can still feel what I felt on that day with perfect clarity. And so, when I picked up an old used copy of The Acts of King Arthur and His Noble Knights by Steinbeck that Saturday morning, I knew I had to take it home with me. I felt I owed it at least that much. Every time I think about my future, about what I could possibly do in my life, I remember that book, and the way I felt when I finished it.

How's that for over-dramatic?

new policy

I picked up the newspaper this morning, and this was the headline:

Lutherans drop gay clergy ban.

It just saddens me. This is a denomination that was born in a reformation, that was founded on the belief that the Bible is the TRUTH, and that turned away from everything that the world at the time was saying. It just saddens me that a denomination so built on Scripture alone is caving in to the pressures of society so easily.

What next?

after thought

Looking back on my post from last night, I realize I sounded quite bitter. I sounded upset. Well, I'm not. The truth is, I just felt sad. I look around at all of the amazing resources and people in my church and community and I just want everyone to grow in Christ to their full potential. I look at myself and I see someone doing the bare minimum (but still doing a lot of talking). And I just feel like too often we fall short and take the easy way out, we avoid personal interaction and discussing the difficult topics. I want us to feel comfortable supporting and loving one another.

I speak out of love, because I know through Christ we can do more. I have hope, lots of hope, and I am excited for the future.

"1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load." Galatians 6:1-5

what I need? what my church needs?

Yesterday I was listening to a sermon I had downloaded to my iPod while cleaning my room. It was given by a man named Matt Chandler from the Village Church in Texas, near Dallas. In the final movement of his sermon, he asked the congregation if he could just say something--just rant for a moment. And he said this (or something like this):

"Women, how many more bible studies are we going to do? Can we maybe run some of the plays, instead of just studying them?

Men, how much you gonna study before you gonna play?

Everybody can talk it; nobody wants to engage anybody with it.... at least very few of us do. WHY?"

And these sentences, so simply and bluntly put, cut me to the heart. How many circles have I sat in and spoken about the call to mission work? How many times have I discussed prayer, and confessing to one another, and being open with one another? How many times have I spoken about how to live and how to teach others about Christ? And yet when have I actually put ANY of this into practice? Let me tell you I felt humbled and ashamed.

I encourage you. Go to iTunes. Go to the Village Church sermon podcast. Download the free sermon called "The Great Cause (Part 1): The Call to Mission," and if nothing else, listen to the last few minutes.

And it got me thinking about something I've been thinking about for some time now. My church here in Eau Claire, Messiah Lutheran, is calling a new pastor. Ever since we started calling, I've been trying to think about what I would tell someone considering the call to Eau Claire. What is Messiah Lutheran like? What type of shepherd does Messiah Lutheran need? What do the believers here need? And I think that in a few sentences this sermon put into words everything I've been feeling.

I think Messiah needs to be woken up. Woken up to the reality that the we are PHARISEES depending far too greatly on our superior knowledge of God's Word to preserve us. And just like the pharisees, we consider ourselves better than others--more pure than other Christians. Well you know what, we may have the knowledge, but we aren't doing much with it. Just like in that sermon above, how long will we study before we actually put that knowledge into play?

I realize that just because I am weak it doesn't mean that everyone is. I'm not saying that every single person at my church is falling into this trap. I'm sure there are those that are DOING things according to their faith and by the grace of God. I must just be missing it. And regardless, no one is perfect. Everyone can use a little (or a lot of) Law in their lives. Part of me doesn't want to offend, but then the rest of me thinks maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing if I ruffled some feathers.

We need to be looked straight in the eye and hear "How many times will we continue to meet before we actually DO what we talk about?

How many times will the women of this congregation gather for Bible studies and meetings before they are ready to DO what they talk about?

How many times will the men of this congregation meet in Bible studies and meetings before they are ready to DO what they discuss?

How long will we hide behind our busy schedules? We put all our focus into serving a role on a committee but we don't know how to talk to one another about Christ.

Serving the church, whether through attending meetings or baking cookies, is all well and good. But how long before we turn to the Christian next to us and attend to their SPIRITUAL needs? How long before we admit to ourselves and to one another I AM BROKEN, I NEED CHRIST?

How long before we will PRAY with one another outside of church and outside of meal time? How long before we can CONFESS to one another? How long before we can WITNESS to one another? How long before we can ADMONISH one another? How long before we can step out of this church and DO the mission work we spend so many hours talking about?"

Almost every morning for the last few mornings I have started my day with the same song--"I'm Not Alright" by Sanctus Real. The chorus simply cries out, "I'm not alright. I'm broken inside, broken inside... That's why I need you." It is heartfelt and honest and genuine and it just makes me want to drop to my knees and cry out with the singer, "I'M NOT ALRIGHT!"

I don't know if this random jumble of thoughts makes any sense to anyone other than me, but somehow this describes what this young and naive young woman thinks her church needs (or at least what I need?). We need Christ (duh). We need to be humbled. We need a sense of urgency. We need honesty. We need a pastor who will say the uncomfortable things, that will be blunt and tell us what we need to hear and not what we want to hear... Someone that will help us CONFESS our sins to one another instead of doing our very best to hide them. Church should be the one place above all others that we can unload our burdens and admit our brokenness and wretchedness and be comforted and forgiven. But instead, it feels more like a beauty pageant where each week I get better and better at hiding the flaws.

And maybe I'm way off. Maybe this doesn't reflect anyone else. Anybody out there reading this--do I assume wrongly? Am I speaking out of place? I guess I can't and shouldn't speak for the whole church, but I can speak for myself when I say this:

I just need someone to look at me and ask me, "Danielle, what are YOU doing for the kingdom?" Because right now I don't have an answer for that question.

I'm just getting by, hoping no one will look to closely or ask me, so I can continue praising God with my words without actually having to DO anything.

God help me.

"Faith without deeds is dead." James 2:26

California, continued

Day 1. San Francisco with Ryan Grandparents and Mary Katherine

We spent the first two nights in San Francisco on Potrero Hill with Mary Katherine (my grandma's cousin who is basically like a third grandma to Emily and I). We told my grandparents and Mary Katherine that we simply wanted to be tourists in San Francisco and see whatever we could pack into one day. So on an exceptionally foggy Thursday, Zach and I...

• Rode a cable car
• Walked along Pier 39 to see the sea lions
• Drove to Fort Point, viewed the underside of the Golden Gate Bridge, and learned how to fire a cannon
• Drove down Lombard Street and ate at Mel's Diner
• Drove to the Cliff House and put our feet in the water
• Ate ice cream at Ghirardelli Square
• Drove through Golden Gate Park and Chinatown
• Drove to the top of Twin Peaks, where we could see absolutely nothing due to the fog

Beautiful day. San Francisco pictures were somehow separated from the rest--I'll post those to my album later.

Day 2. Santa Cruz with Brandon and Madeline

We spent Friday with Maddie and Brandon who took us to Waddell Beach to hike inland and see the Redwoods. We then ate a picnic lunch on the very windy beach and watched the kite surfers. After lunch we drove to the Boardwalk at Santa Cruz for a couple of rides and to put our feet in the freezing water. We finished the evening with In-n-Out Burger, animal style. =)


Day 3. Monterey

Zach and I attempted to enjoy a day to ourselves in Monterey. Unfortunately the rest of the world had the same idea and Monterey was busier than I've ever seen it. Our visit to the aquarium was shortened due to the crowds and abundance of strollers, so we drove along the coast and took the 17 Mile Drive.



Day 4. Mountain View & Sunnyvale with Drews Family

On Sunday morning we were able to go to St. Stephen Lutheran Church in Mountain View--the church I was raised at. I miss this church and it's open and warm atmosphere so much. There's something so refreshing and encouraging about services where people raise their hands with prayer requests and Bible classes where members admit that they are confused or uncertain. After a relaxing lunch and nap, Dan took us out to Shoreline Lake where we attempted to paddle boat for an hour.

The trip was short but it was good to get away. I'm mostly glad I had a chance to let Zach see where I grew up and to meet my family. Sorry, this post is kind of dry and feels like a PowerPoint, but that's about all I have to say for now. If you want to see more pictures, here's the link to my album:

2009: California Trip with Zach