Yesterday I was listening to a sermon I had downloaded to my iPod while cleaning my room. It was given by a man named Matt Chandler from the Village Church in Texas, near Dallas. In the final movement of his sermon, he asked the congregation if he could just say something--just rant for a moment. And he said this (or something like this):
"Women, how many more bible studies are we going to do? Can we maybe run some of the plays, instead of just studying them?
Men, how much you gonna study before you gonna play?
Everybody can talk it; nobody wants to engage anybody with it.... at least very few of us do. WHY?"
And these sentences, so simply and bluntly put, cut me to the heart. How many circles have I sat in and spoken about the call to mission work? How many times have I discussed prayer, and confessing to one another, and being open with one another? How many times have I spoken about how to live and how to teach others about Christ? And yet when have I actually put ANY of this into practice? Let me tell you I felt humbled and ashamed.
I encourage you. Go to iTunes. Go to the Village Church sermon podcast. Download the free sermon called "The Great Cause (Part 1): The Call to Mission," and if nothing else, listen to the last few minutes.
And it got me thinking about something I've been thinking about for some time now. My church here in Eau Claire, Messiah Lutheran, is calling a new pastor. Ever since we started calling, I've been trying to think about what I would tell someone considering the call to Eau Claire. What is Messiah Lutheran like? What type of shepherd does Messiah Lutheran need? What do the believers here need? And I think that in a few sentences this sermon put into words everything I've been feeling.
I think Messiah needs to be woken up. Woken up to the reality that the we are PHARISEES depending far too greatly on our superior knowledge of God's Word to preserve us. And just like the pharisees, we consider ourselves better than others--more pure than other Christians. Well you know what, we may have the knowledge, but we aren't doing much with it. Just like in that sermon above, how long will we study before we actually put that knowledge into play?
I realize that just because I am weak it doesn't mean that everyone is. I'm not saying that every single person at my church is falling into this trap. I'm sure there are those that are DOING things according to their faith and by the grace of God. I must just be missing it. And regardless, no one is perfect. Everyone can use a little (or a lot of) Law in their lives. Part of me doesn't want to offend, but then the rest of me thinks maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing if I ruffled some feathers.
We need to be looked straight in the eye and hear "How many times will we continue to meet before we actually DO what we talk about?
How many times will the women of this congregation gather for Bible studies and meetings before they are ready to DO what they talk about?
How many times will the men of this congregation meet in Bible studies and meetings before they are ready to DO what they discuss?
How long will we hide behind our busy schedules? We put all our focus into serving a role on a committee but we don't know how to talk to one another about Christ.
Serving the church, whether through attending meetings or baking cookies, is all well and good. But how long before we turn to the Christian next to us and attend to their SPIRITUAL needs? How long before we admit to ourselves and to one another I AM BROKEN, I NEED CHRIST?
How long before we will PRAY with one another outside of church and outside of meal time? How long before we can CONFESS to one another? How long before we can WITNESS to one another? How long before we can ADMONISH one another? How long before we can step out of this church and DO the mission work we spend so many hours talking about?"
Almost every morning for the last few mornings I have started my day with the same song--"I'm Not Alright" by Sanctus Real. The chorus simply cries out, "I'm not alright. I'm broken inside, broken inside... That's why I need you." It is heartfelt and honest and genuine and it just makes me want to drop to my knees and cry out with the singer, "I'M NOT ALRIGHT!"
I don't know if this random jumble of thoughts makes any sense to anyone other than me, but somehow this describes what this young and naive young woman thinks her church needs (or at least what I need?). We need Christ (duh). We need to be humbled. We need a sense of urgency. We need honesty. We need a pastor who will say the uncomfortable things, that will be blunt and tell us what we need to hear and not what we want to hear... Someone that will help us CONFESS our sins to one another instead of doing our very best to hide them. Church should be the one place above all others that we can unload our burdens and admit our brokenness and wretchedness and be comforted and forgiven. But instead, it feels more like a beauty pageant where each week I get better and better at hiding the flaws.
And maybe I'm way off. Maybe this doesn't reflect anyone else. Anybody out there reading this--do I assume wrongly? Am I speaking out of place? I guess I can't and shouldn't speak for the whole church, but I can speak for myself when I say this:
I just need someone to look at me and ask me, "Danielle, what are YOU doing for the kingdom?" Because right now I don't have an answer for that question.
I'm just getting by, hoping no one will look to closely or ask me, so I can continue praising God with my words without actually having to DO anything.
God help me.
"Faith without deeds is dead." James 2:26
