This has been going through my mind a lot lately, so to finish processing it, I’ve got to write about it.
We have a desire to ‘find ourselves.’ We have this natural tendency to want to understand who we are and what makes us unique. Why? I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense, but we do it. Or at least I do it.
But the devil knows this too, and he’s tricky.
There are relatively few things that I think are constant about my personality. Unfortunately, most of the reoccurring traits are my faults or weaknesses. There are certain things I struggle with, certain traits I’m not proud of that I know I should make an effort to expel. But deep, deep down, if I was to be completely honest with myself, I don’t want to change those failures. Why not? Because I define myself by them—they are part of my identity… and one of the only consistent elements of my identity. Changing them would mean performing a major remodel to the fragile image of myself I’ve tried to construct over the past 20 years.
But that’s pretty messed up. I need to define myself by who I am in Christ, not by my failures.
1 comment:
AMEN! You're not the only one, kiddo. Trust me. Why do you think I'm still the way that I am. However, I don't think too many people realize that this is the case. That even though we have dents and rust spots on our bodies, we don't want to fix them or buff them out, because they are a part of what makes us unique. You make a good point.
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